When I was a snot nosed punk growing up in Montana we did not have a t.v. I know....shocking isn't it? To think I actually survived but survived we did. We had hours and acres of land to entertain ourselves on.
Our mailbox is very much a part of my growing up memories. It was painted bright red and more importantly........it was big. Not one of these little silver numbers you'd find at the end of peoples driveways on your way into town. (Town....snort...laugh........cough......was made up of several bars, a post office, a gas station, and a little grocery store).
My younger sister and I would climb up on top of the mailbox and rock it back and forth pretending we were riding a horse. Sometimes we'd drag out the saddle and haul it up onto the mailbox. Most often we'd just ride it bareback.
One day riding the mailbox wasn't good enough and since it was so big we decided to see if my younger sister could fit in it. After trying to shove her into it several times without much luck we decided to get our older sister involved since she was taller and stronger.
Our older sister obliged because she having nothing better to do since she wasn't laying in front of a t.v. engrossed was up for our suggestion of entertainment. (Who taught me how to write this kind of a sentence? Must be from my lack of PBS education growing up.)
We figured out that if we took my little sister and put her in feet first we could cram her into the mail box. We shut the door on her and laughed with delight when she'd push her head against it and "pop out". Both my older sister and I looked at each other.........the demons in us rearing their ugly heads and an idea started to form.
The mean old crotchety mail lady hadn't come by that day yet had she? Hee Hee Hee........chuckles of evil delight!
We had an awesome wrap around porch on our beautiful old farm house with a porch swing on it. My older sister opted to hang out on the porch swing miles away from the action so that if something went wrong........you know..........guilty by association.........wimp!
I hid behind a big tree which we called the umbrella tree. We would spend hours climbing and hanging out in it's branches imagining all sorts of things but that is another story for another day. The tree was not close enough for the mean old mail lady to see me but close enough that when I yelled out "now", my little sister could execute her part in the prank.
Imagine two little children shivering with delight waiting for the exact moment. Me dancing in place not being able to stand the suspense and who knows what my little sister was doing crammed up in that mailbox but she was a good sport and waited.
We didn't have to wait long. Down the dirt road came the mail lady. She was driving her brand new car. Where we grew up they didn't have mail trucks. The mail men/women drove their own cars leaning across the passenger seat to drop the mail in our boxes because the steering wheel wasn't on the right side of the vehicle.
Giggling I crouched behind the tree watching for the precise moment. The mean old crotchety mail lady pulled up to our mail box........leaned across the passenger seat.......raised her hand to open the mailbox and I yelled "NOW". My little sister popped out of that mail box and yelled, "BOO"!
That mean old crotchety mail lady jumped back across her car banging herself against her door with a shriek that you could have heard the next county over. I fell in a heap of laughter and giggles on the ground as my little sister still stuck in the mail box and blocked by the mean old crotchety mail ladies car dissolved in a fit of laughter. Oh it was delightful until that venomous old creature got a hold of herself and gave my little sister a tongue lashing.
I told you she was mean and old and crotchety. She lectured my sister and told her that she could have scratched her new car when the mailbox door banged open against her car.
I can't say we cared. Tears were running down our faces and my poor sister was making the mailbox rattle and convulse with her shrieks of laughter and hiccups.
The mail lady drove off in a huff and I went and rescued my little sister so that we could both again dissolve in peals of laughter on the ground.
Later after reflecting on the event and filling our parents in on it during dinner that night and mom making us shove my sister back in the mail box again so she could get pictures, my little sister and I decided that we didn't like the way our mean old crotchety mail lady had reacted.
It was a harmless fun good prank and being the older sister who would defend her little sister with my little fists if need be to the death decided that this mean old crotchety mail lady needed to be taught a lesson for yelling at my little sister over something so harmless.
I had been out walking down the dirt road that went in front of our house and had found a dead shmooshed snake. With a stick I picked it up and planted it in our big old red mailbox and put up the yellow flag. Special delivery for the mean old crotchety mail lady.........the snake........
That was soooo great!!!! I still laugh my head off whenever I think about it. I wish we could have inspected the seat of her car when she drove off.
ReplyDeleteOk... so you can't just end the story there! How rude! I want to hear the rest!! You know, I was never one to do those things. I always wished I had lived a more exciting, trouble making life. The worst thing I have ever done is really bad. I guess I can tell you but you are sworn to secrecy on this blog( I dont spell but I am sure a college graduate).
ReplyDeleteSo there was this girl in, I think I was in 4th grade. She was so mean. she was blind. I still remember her name, Heather. For some reason every time she would hear my voice she would hit me with her cane. I am sure you know where this is going...I still feel terrible. After a year of being hit by this cane,bruses on my legs...Im not sure why, I was a shy child. So, one day I decided I had enough. She went to go down the slide, she can't take her cane with her. So making sure no one was watching, I went grabbed her cane and barried it in the sand. Little did I know, I hadn't looked around good enough. A teacher saw me and I was busted! My parents perfect little child had done something horrible... If you never want to talk to me again I understand!
ha ha ha!! That is too funny.... what is the rest of the story? Did the mail lady find the snake?
ReplyDelete"Our older sister obliged because she, having nothing better to do since she wasn't laying in front of a t.v. engrossed, was up for our suggestion of entertainment."
ReplyDeleteNow, see? That was a perfectly good sentence - complex and interesting- just needed a few doo-dads hung on it here or there to make it run right.
I will tell you that I stole a loaf of bread out of the bakery truck back in Kansas City when I was less than four years old. Wasn't a trick. Just simple thievery. I do wonder how I managed to climb up into that truck with my friend, and how we got away with it. But we ate the whole loaf of white, hidden in a culvert, and it was the best bread ever.
Of COURSE I regret my action, and have never stolen another loaf of bread in my whole life. But there you are. It was really, really good.
I still remember doing that. I even remember being inside the mailbox and seeing the mail lady jump so high she hit her head on the ceiling of her car. It was awesome, . . .don't think I would fit into a mailbox now though. Wonder what else we could do?
ReplyDelete